It would be unusual for a man in their place to be unmarried. Traditionally, behind every successful man is a there is a strong woman. The man needs the woman to be his own first lady-to run the household, to be hostess, to love him, to have his children, to be his biggest fan. What happens when the woman is successful, is there a powerful man behind her? Oprah has been said to be the most influential and powerful woman in the world. She has never been married, but has dated the same man since 1986. Martha Stewart got married when she was 20 and divorced in 1989 when her career took off. She dated the same man for 15 years until 2008. The man married another woman the same year. It is interesting that both of these women have or had a partner for such a long period of time while they were already successful and powerful, but for whatever reason, they did not marry.
Were the men unwilling to be the man behind the woman? Were the women unwilling to compromise? I can imagine that both Oprah and Martha spend most of their time on their various career pursuits, maybe they just couldn’t commit to another person when their careers are all about themselves.
Celebrities should not have to expose their personal lives to the public, but these women that give advice to women as part of their career-and Oprah does give advice about relationships-should explain their personal relationships to their fans to open up this discussion. Oprah has said they are just not ready to get married. She does not say they do not want to get married. That makes it seem like they are waiting for something to change. With her talk show ending next year, I wonder if she will finally get married. Martha Stewart’s love life seems more predictable and depressing. Her partner married a woman 30 years younger than him the same year they broke up. Ouch. Is she not interested in love anymore because she is too old? It is sad that she does not have a companion to get old with. It is enough to just have a career?
Double standards for men and women are apparent in these two women’s stories. Because they are both over 50, the public sees them as peers or mothers who are supposed to have all the answers. Realizing they are not married does not fit the image they create and sell of themselves. Unlike actresses who have flexible work schedules, these women have created career empires that require daily work. They have chosen their careers over marriage and families, but sell us the ideal that we can have it all.
