Standardized Education

I do not remember taking a standardized test until I took the P-SAT in 10^th grade. I do not remember studying for it or getting pressure at home. Now kindergarteners have to learn to fill in bubbles to take standardized tests.

The past few years, I have watched high-stakes testing drastically change the teaching and learning at my elementary school. Most of the year, the school strives to provide an academically rigorous core curriculum that also includes science, chess, art, dance and sports. The classes take lots of field trips and the notion of teaching the whole child is entertained. As the grades go up near state testing years, things start to change. The first state tests are in third grade. The tests are in literacy and math. When the kids are in second grade, many kids are kept for after school tutoring throughout the year get them up to speed for the third grade tests. Once they are in third grade, any kids who might not get a 3 or 4 on the test are kept for tutoring everyday, and have to come to Saturday tutoring as the tests get closer.

Despite our school having all the ingredients in place for acing the state tests (excellent teachers, dedicated school mission, choice of curriculum, support staff, strong leadership, supportive parents etc.) a fear goes through the school every year. All the doubts about the education we are providing the kids come up. What if they are not learning as much as our data shows? What if they fail? What if we don’t give them a ton of test prep, and then they do poorly? What if they do poorly because we give them too much test prep and do not really teach the material for mastery? These fears are heightened due to the nature of the charter school, more freedom and more accountability. The school must have amazing results to prove they should get to continue providing educations.

All of this fear results in one thing- test prep hell. Starting at third grade, the students spend the three months of the year leading up to the test on one thing, test prep. Test prep consists of teaching students the skills needed to do well on standardized tests. Mostly, practice sheets, practice tests, reading/math, math/reading, all day long. As the art teacher I am not part of this, but I can tell when it starts. First, when the upper grade kids come to art, a large group of each class is mysteriously missing. The teachers mention they are in a tutoring group.  Next, the kids are super hyper and un-focused, kind of like they have been sitting quietly in a room filling in bubbles all day. I try to plan test-prep art therapy units during this time to give them an emotional release. Then I am asked why they art projects are not rigorous enough.

It is so sad that well meaning educators are put in this situation, and are too scared to trust in the teaching and learning taking place, to ensure the students will ace the state exams. It is also sad that the students are the ones who suffer. We have eight and nine year old so anxious to take the test they feel sick. W have eight and nine year olds who are so tired of needing extra tutoring they have given up on school. We have kids bribed all year to do what they teachers need them to do so they can keep the broken system going. We have stressed children and stressed adults all trying to prove how smart the school is and how smart the kids are.  When will the American educational structure finally change?

Say Yes to the Dress

“Our job is to make the bride’s dreams come true.”

“I love my dress, it’s elegant, it’s sexy, it’s fun, it’s totally me.”

“Sometimes it’s harder to commit to the dress than commit to the man.”

Say Yes to the Dress is a television show shown onTLC that shows brides looking for the perfect wedding dress. The show takes place at a top wedding dress store, Kleinfeld Bridal in Manhattan. The brides make appointments to find their perfect dress, and meet with a bridal consultant. Then she tries on many dresses and to add to the drama, the bride usually brings lots of family members to give their many points of view. Hopefully, she finds the perfect dress and then we get to see a peek of the wedding and how happy she is.

This show takes shopping obsessions to a new level. Not only are we trained to want things all the time, now instead of going shopping, we can just watch other people shop. Watching the ritual of the American marriage can defiantly be fascinating. The brides are determined to find the Perfect Wedding Dress. They will pay any amount of money (at Kleinfeld Bridal, the cheapest dresses are 2,000 dollars), buy multiple dresses for their dream wedding, and even after they find their PWD, they will change their minds and start the hunt all over.

It is fascinating how much emphasis has been placed on the PWD. The brides see their wedding as an expression of their relationship with their fiancé, and of themselves. What they look like on the ‘most important day of their life’ is critical for them to feel happy, confident and beautiful-like a princess. Women must have the perfect body, perfect hair, perfect makeup, perfect jewelry, perfect ceremony, perfect reception, perfect honeymoon and, oh yeah, the perfect husband. With all this pressure, things are sure to go wrong. This is why there are so many wedding themed reality TV shows, the producers just have to film, and they will get a great show.

What’s also funny is despite how determined each woman is to have the PWD; most of the dresses are very similar to each other. Long, white, flowey, sequined-when you see a woman in a dress like this you know she is the bride. If you have a body that is hard to fit, or very specific, unusual look you want, getting this kind of special attention would make more sense, but most women are easy to fit, and want a wedding dress that looks like a wedding dress.

The most disturbing part of this show to me is the complete and blatant shift from saying yes to the marriage, to saying yes to the dress. The brides and brides’ family is completely focused on how the bride will look. They are not focused on if they will have a happy marriage, or even focused on how the groom will look. The bride’s physical presence is at the top of the totem pole in the mainstream American wedding, with the groom as both her accessory and her reason of being.

Girls School/Boys School

Teen drama Gossip Girl shows single sex private high school culture.

Working at a co-ed school, I am constantly struck by how differently girls and boys behave and learn. I see many stereotypical things, and of course many girls and boys that do not behave stereotypically. I see enough differences to make me wonder if girls and boys should be in separate schools or at least separate classrooms. People tend to think gender only become an issue once adolescence hits, and attraction distracts from learning, but current research shows the differences between boys and girls can be a large distraction in elementary schools as well. 

Most teachers in elementary schools are women. The rules and activities in elementary school classes are created by women, and geared to girls. I see that boys are much more frequently getting in trouble in my school. Even with the best teachers, the most consistent teaching and enforcing of discipline, supportive school leadership and mostly supportive families-boys are mostly the ones who in trouble repeatedly and for the same reasons. Should we keep trying to change the boys, or should we change the system they learn in?

Many schools have changed the system by becoming single gender, or have single gender academics within a mixed-gender class. The schools say the academic results are immediate. The teachers can teach to the gender and be more effective. Boys and girls brains work differently form birth. Girls make more eye contact, distinguish between people and connect with language and objects sooner than boys. Boys pay attention to movement, and use objects as kinesthetic learning tools. The way boys and girls sight and hearing perceive differs as well. Girls will be drawn to bright colors and the fluctuations in the teacher’s voice, while boys will be drawn to movement and a louder, excited voice. Boys learn well sitting in a circle, boys learn well when they are standing and moving, allowing increased blood flow to their brains. Boys like to take risks at school, and need to be taught how to be realistic about their goals, girls shy away from risk and need the confidence to push themselves to the next level.

With so many differences in how girls and boys learn, it is hard to create a learning environment where both can be achieved. The rules in most schools are easier for girls to follow. Sit still. Be quiet. Look at me when I am speaking. Keep your hands in your lap.  While girls are able to focus in this situation, many boys brain’s ‘turn off’ while they use all their focus to sit still so they will not get into trouble. When the rules are not structured in this way, other problems occur. Girls complain they can’t focus, it’s too loud, he keeps bothering me by making noises. The expectation is that it will be a quiet, calm learning environment, so the girls get their way, and the boys sit out of recess.

When I envision my classes separated into only girls and boys, I envision learning the best ways to teach each gender, and have a much more productive learning environment. Asking children to be still and quiet for most of their day is a really bad idea, but it is a horrible idea to ask boys little boys to do this. The system needs to change so the academics are separate, and the social elements are together.

The Colors of Us

Working in a New York City charter school, race is a very visually apparent factor. The students all live in the surrounding neighborhood, and all come from families who want the best free education they can have for their child. Where I work, most of the children are African-American and some are Hispanic. We also have a large African population. In contrast to this are the teachers and other adults who work in the school. All of the staff is highly educated and wants to make a real difference in the lives of children. They want to close the achievement gap through whatever means possible. Most of the staff is white, with a small percentage of African-American and Hispanic teachers. So basically it is almost opposite.

Race is always the elephant in the room. Usually I feel it the most around the families, as children are usually not articulate about race. With the children, it makes it slightly uncomfortable to talk about the color of our skin, or different races because the teacher-the one in control-is the only white person in the room.

As the art teacher, color is a visually important part of the children’s mage making, especially when they are making self-portraits. Usually I find all children show their skin as being lighter than it really is. If I set out shades of brown paper and ask them to pick the one that matches them to make collages, they all choose the lighter pieces and if I show them that they match a different, darker shade, they et mad and insist on having the lighter one. This goes into the Whiteness factor in our culture, and also when there are no white kids in the room, the color perception shifts. It becomes light or dark brown, not black or white.

When they students are at the right age to really explore the real colors of skin, I show them self-portraits from lots of different races and cultures and read them a wonderful children’s book, The Colors of Us by Karen Katz. The book describes how everyone’s skin is a special shade of brown, and shows all the people on her street. When it is time to mix our own special brown, I ask the kids, “Who thinks they are black? And lots of hands go up. I put a dot of black paint on their hands and ask them if it matches. They all say no and are surprised. Then I ask them who thinks they are white? Lots of other hands go up, and I do the same with white paint and we see it does not match. I do it on my hands as well. Then I show them how we can make brown, and add white or black or blue to it to find our special shade of brown. They can put a dot on their hand if they thin it matches. When they find their color, they are so excited to paint their skin color on their paper. No one tells me it is too dark, or not right.

When they finish their paintings, they see how beautiful the colors of all of us are, and how much their paintings really looks like them when they show the colors they really see. It is also a great art teaching display to the families and staff at the school, to realize people are not the colors black and white, and to be aware of how these words affect our perceptions of each other and ourselves.

Please Give

I saw a new independent film called Please Give, directed by Nicole Holofcener. The film drops you into the lives of two New York families, who are connected through their apartment building. The film explores themes of beauty, guilt, lust, adolescence and family through its memorable, very real, characters.

The film begins with a series of mammograms being given, saggy breasts of all shapes and sizes are put on the plastic shelf one after the other. Right away I knew the film was not going to show conventional beauty. There are two sisters in the film, Rebecca is a mammogram technician, spending her days seeing breasts as ‘tubes of danger’, and Mary, who spends her days working at a spa giving facials.  Their opposing connections to feminine beauty are apparent just from their jobs. Rebecca is not concerned with how she looks and makes fun of her sister for being such a slave to the beauty system. The sisters live together and this constantly comes up through comments about going to the tanning bed, eating microwaved food, drinking too much and ‘hitting the wall’ the term Mary uses for getting to the age where your beauty is lost. The sisters are opposites, just living together because they are each other’s only family.

The other family in the story is Kate, a mom who is racked with rich guilt, a dad, Alex who is trying hard to hold onto his youth, and a teenager, Abby who just wants her skin to be blemish free and to have a great pair of jeans. This family is waiting for their neighbor to die so they can expand their apartment. Their neighbor is Rebecca and Mary’s grandmother. Kate and Alex have a vintage furniture store and she becomes consumed with the ethics of buying people’s furniture when they die, paying little for it, and then selling it for a huge profit. She feels like she is stealing from the grieving family members and she does not understand why her husband does not feel the same way. To make up for her guilt, she spends most of the film giving money and food to the homeless people who live on her street and saying, “I’m sorry.” She tries to volunteer but cannot see past the sadness she is surrounded with. She is unable to accept that the sorrow in the world, and her ease and wealth within the world, can exist together.

The whole film is full of scenes that feel so real; they are almost shocking to see on the American screen. Watching Kate work in a store full of beautiful, expensive objects and listening to the New York customers come in and discuss them, how shelves are so ugly they are interesting. Listening to an old woman talk about her youth, all the while being obliviously ride to her caretakers. Seeing a teenage girl’s pimpled face being worked over while getting a facial, watching sisters watch TV together and, being unable to express their feelings, silently give each other physical affection.

Please Give is a fresh look at how Americans and specifically New Yorkers can be showed. Everyday life is all it’s ugly beauty. Flawed people loving flawed people. Giving what you can.

Pink

Charlie White’s spent three years researching and producing a body of work tilted Girl Studies, all about the American teen as image and idea. The German athletic apparel company Adidas created an innovative ad campaign for the re-launch of their Adicolor shoe line, where they chose artists to make short films about their emotional and creative response to each color. Guess who was asked to make the video about Pink? Charlie White!

His film is poetic, surreal, feminine and teen. The filmshows an American teen in her bedroom talking on the phone wearing cheerleading shorts rolled up, and a tank. Her blonde wavy hair bounces as she laughs on the phone. Her carpet is pink, her phone is pink, her walls are pink, and her hairdryer is pink-lots of pink. In her row of stuffed animals along her bed, a pink teddy bear suddenly moves and looks at her. As this happens, the pink shell on her desk starts to emit a clear liquid, and her hand starts to become covers in pink liquid. A pink liquid covers her whole body. The bear walks towards her. The pink liquid dissipates, revealing her body covered in pink rhinestones. The bear crawls off the bed. She feels her face. The bear crawls on her and hugs her while she lies on the carpet in fetal pose. The clear liquid goes back inside the shell. Music is playing the whole time that repeats the phrase, “Holding on.”

The film has a melancholy feel, with the music, the slowness of motion and the way it ends in a fetal pose. The teenage girl becomes covered in the color that most represents Girl in the American culture. Not only does she become pink, but also she becomes rhinestone pink, like the coverings teen girls put on their phones. While she is covered in the feminine pink materials, she loses her gender at the same time. Her long blonde hair, her girly clothes, her makeup, is all gone. She becomes a human form covered in pink rhinestones. She is a young woman and a child all at once. She seems to feel overwhelmed with her transformation, with her feelings. The teddy bear seems to understand how she is feeling, and goes to comfort her. The bear hugs her, instead of her hugging the bear. She seems to be unable to help herself, and just has to rest and let it all the changes happen.

She is covered with a pink teen layer on the outside, but how much is happening in the inside? Her environment affects how she looks and acts so much, but how much of her environment is she in control of? This film shows a moment is a teenage girl’s emotional life that is rarely seen, and definitely open to interpretation. She is in metamorphosis and the person in controlling her changes is unclear.  Does she want to be pink, or does the culture want her to be pink?

Kids Censored

People have very specific ideas about what children’s art should be about and look like. They expect children to make pictures of simplistic smiling people and friends, flowers and sunshine. They do not expect innocent children to make images of death, destruction and sadness. People love to romanticize childhood, and remember theirs in an idealized way. People that spend a lot of time with children, and particularly groups of children, see the breadth of real childhood experiences and emotions everyday, and know that children are not ‘innocent’ in the way we like to think so, and have plenty in their thoughts and feelings to make images about that may or may not be what we expect.

Excellent art education relies on the personal experiences of children to get their ideas and make images they are connected to. The teacher gives an open-ended motivation and then works out with the class how they could show their ideas in the art material they are using that day. For example, the teacher might ask, “What do you like to do on a snowy day?” and the children might say, “Make a snowman.” “Drink hot chocolate.” “Have a snowball fight.” When they start working, perhaps the child who thought about a snowball fight paints a boy who violently hurts another kid with a snowball, “with a rock in it, see the blood? It showed up a lot on the snow.” What is the art teacher to do? Perhaps this is how he plays snowball fight in his family, or this happened to him and he is working out the bad memory. Perhaps he is a bully and is showing what he did. Perhaps it is painted beautifully, and he can’t wait to share it with the class and his teacher. Do you tell him to stop and paint another picture, tell his teacher you are worried about him and use the art as evidence, hide it and accidentally forget to send it home, tell him it is not appropriate for school? What images are appropriate for children to make in art class? How many images are censored by the children, just as they censor their words in school, and how many are intentionally or not censored by the teacher?

Recently I had an experience with a fourth grade class that resulted in censorship. The class worked on a project about their favorite sport to play, while the Winter Olympics were happening. They worked for many weeks, sketching, drawing, coloring and finally matting and presenting. One boy was kept out of art for most of those weeks for tutoring, and then he came in on the presenting day, asked if he could make a drawing, I told him yes, we are drawing athletes in action. He quickly drew a cop shooting a man, matted it, wrote a title and was done by the end of class. I put the drawings away and did not look at them for weeks, as I was planning on hanging some up from each class. Then I gave a large pile of art  for an open house in the cafeteria, I told them to just pick out what they wanted and give me back the rest. Somehow, the principal saw this boys drawing and was shocked and very worried about him. Did he see a shooting? Is he watching violent TV/movies at home? We need to bring in his parents and talk to them. Another leader asked the boy about the drawing and he told him, “I want to be a cop when I grow up.” He was not worried. The principal told me if I ever see something like this I should tell her right away. The drawing is still rolled up in her office.

Art is just another thing that is censored as soon as the adults and children enter school. You cannot dress however you want, do whatever you want, say whatever you want, and create whatever you want. Different places have different rules. The teachers job it to keep everyone safe and learning, not expressing themselves however they see fit. Despite this, art class is a wonderful place for children in school, with the teachers guidance they can express themselves in a slightly guided way and still use all their own ideas that are based in their experiences. The teacher must know what the age group is interested in, and make motivations that will allow them to create those images, tell those stories.  Asking a group of 9 years olds, “What would you do if you were a superhero?” will let them show good and bad fighting-and them they can write stories about it. You have to balance the fine line between the realities of childhood, and what the adults want to see.

Topical Stress Relief

Stress and stress-relief are two sides to an absurd coin. Living in a stressful world creates the demand for ways to relieve the stress. This addresses the symptoms, not the disease.

According to About.com, here are the top 25 stress relievers:

Throw On Some Music and Clean House

Watch Aquarium Fish

Take a Walk With A Friend

Sing Along With Music

Set Up a Home Spa

Cut Down On Some of Your Commitments

Play Positive Affirmations Hangman

Play the Stress Management Memory Game

Walk Your Dog

Try Breathing Exercises

Draw a Picture

Dance to Your Favorite Music

Work on Becoming An Optimist

Try Focused Meditation

Decode a Cryptogram Puzzle

Take a Mini-Vacation

Pray

Keep a Gratitude Journal

Play Music and Cook Something Wonderful

Surround Yourself with Positive Energy

Learn to Say No To Demands on Your Time

Take a Nap

Get Daily Stress Tips

Reduce Stress At Your Job

Take On A New Stress Relief Habit and Stick With It!

There are so many ways to relieve stress, but I think people that have very stressful lives need to be willing to make one or more major changes to remove the root cause of their stress. People do things for the future, ignoring the present. For example, people work so hard all day and never see their growing children, just to make enough money to send their children to college. Meanwhile the parent(s) and the kids are miserable. People take sacrifices too far for the future, and give away the present. 

Virtual Stress

Stress is a common experience for people nowadays, especially people I know and see in New York City. It is easy to be deceived that stress is an inescapable part of life- yet, I have experienced times in my life when I did not feel stress and have been around many people who live mainly stress free lives. So what is the deal with stress? Why is it a required part of life for some and not for others? Can it be solved with love, friendship, family, geography, real estate, ice cream, massages or money? Or is it inside people psychologically and must be removed with medicine and therapy?

The word stress is both a psychology and biology term that was coined in the 1930’s. (Imagine-a world where the word stress does not exist!) It refers to the consequence of the failure of a human or animal not responding appropriately to physical or emotional threats, whether real or imagined. This definition gives the blame to the person for not getting out of the stressful situation. Another definition is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. This blames the circumstances. Thus, the person who has the choice to get out of a harmful circumstance but does not is to blame for their stress.

The feelings of stress are mixed with feelings of self-hatred. The workaholic feels the negative impact of stress, yet feels addicted to work. The stereotypical images of people under stress focus on white-collar workers. While anyone can feel stress, the word is most commonly used in academic settings, offices and businesses. The work these people are doing generally involves being inside all day, working on the phone or computer and sitting in meetings. In these cliché situations, the person who is stressed usually feels bad that they are in an unmanageable situation, but also privileged to be in a situation where their mind can be the hero. People being put in these white collar office situations who are having virtual connections with people and doing abstract work, use their intellect to get the job and their intellect to do their work. Their body just follows the orders, and has to go to the gym after work to get excursive. This type of work is clean and well paid, which reflects our cultural brain worship.

Teens and younger children in rigorous academic situations get to be part of this cultural event too. I have heard teens say, “Oh my god this project is making me soooo stressed! I only got four hours of sleep last night and I’ve had three lattes today. I feel soooo crazy right now.” They are excited to finally have important work to do. They know it is important because they are only using their brain and have been given way too much work to do in a short period of time, like grown ups. They pass or fail these tests and it shapes their future, will it be the path to an Ivy League school or a curvy dark alternative path?

Being able to succeed in hard situations like staying up all night to finish a huge project once or twice a year is a real skill to have, but many companies today operate under this super stressful model year round. They liken the ‘heroic’ work the staff is doing to ‘running a marathon’, and say things like, “We stay until the job is done.” This is to seduce the minds to want to do the work of the privileged, no matter what the cost to the health and quality of life of the workers.

When I grow up...

How many times have I said, “When I grow up…” throughout my life? When I was a child, when I was a teenager, when I was I was in my early twenties, and now-I still ask the same question. No matter how old I am, there is always this dreaming of how my life will be when I am older. I interviewed some students of mine on this topic to see what their dreams are at five and seven years old. 

Five-year old girl

“I want to be a cheerleader when I grow up. They are nice and wear skirts. I don’t want a husband because he will argue. He won’t buy you some things and don’t want to put the baby in the middle. He wants the mommy in the middle and the baby on the side. I want one baby so I can sleep with him. My sister will still be my sister when I grow up. I will live with my mom.”

Five-year old boy

“I wan to be a FBI agent when I grow up. They make the world healthy, good and safe.”

Five-year old girl

“I wan tot be a lawyer because I want to do everything for kids. I want to help kids when they’re in trouble. I can take care of them if mom screams at them. My uncle is a lawyer. It’s important. I will be married and have kids when I am 24. The only reason for a husband is he gives you a ring. I wouldn’t like to argue with him. I wan to have kids. I want to be important.”

Seven-year old boy

“I don’t know what I want to be. I don’t want to be a dentist doctor and clean people’s teeth and see if they have cavities, maybe a teacher because you get to do math and I’m good at math. I don’t want to get married because you have to take care of a child when they grow up. They might make you mad and frustrated. I like being a kid because you get to do some fun things, like play football.”

Seven-year old girl

“I want to be a teacher because you can do anything you want, like go to the store, tell you anything to do, they can scream at you and tell you to go to your seat. I want to be a ballet dancer because you teach kids ballet and stretch with them. I practice ballet. I don’t want to get married because people would get talking. Like all about the wedding and get to your hand and then the wedding is ruined. There is nothing good about a husband. Having kids would be good because they would listen to you, but it would be bad when they would run and jump around. I’ll do it when I’m big.”

Seven-year old boy

“I want to be a mechanic when I grow up. You get to fix cars and don’t get any money. My dad’s a mechanic. Also I want to be a garbage collector. They wear gloves and get up at 5 am. When I’m done I could go anywhere. I want to have a family and be married. I want a lot of people because you need a family. Maybe you don’t know how to cook and kids can go to school and get smarter. The bad parts would be if you get into fights and kids will play around the house. You might have to move far away from your parents. I also want to be a firefighter because you use a hose and get to save people.”

I see their dreams through their childhood perspectives and I see my adult self analyzing what their dreams tell me about the child, the child’s family, and the world we all live in. Children are shaped by the grown up world, as they are growing closer each day to become a grown up. Their families influence them first and foremost, but also by their neighborhood, the movies and TV they watch, the music they hear, the games they play-by everything. What do you hear when you read these interviews? What does your adult mind decide these children’s lives are like from hearing their dreams?

All Ages Party

After the ceremony I got to experience another important aspect of the Bat Mitzvah tradition-the party afterwards. I was very curious to observe a celebration for a teenager, her friends and her family, and see how the party was created and adjusted to please the guests. In attendance were people of all ages- grandparents, parents, young adults, teens, kids, toddlers and babies- comprising of my cousin’s family, friends and her parents friends.

The space set up and decorations were as interesting as the social aspect. The reception was held in an adjoining room to the temple. The corridor entering the reception room was set up as a photo and scrapbook station. One side of the corridor, a computer was set up opened to the Photo Booth program. You could take your picture and it would print out on a small printer. Then you could take the photo to the other side of the corridor where a table was set up with scrapbook pages, scrap paper, scissors, glue stickers, stamps, and drawing materials. Each person or family was invited to make a page to go in a scrapbook to celebrate my cousin’s special day.

The reception room had very high ceilings with many picture windows showing the trees outside. The room set up was divided into an adult section and kid section with a dance floor in the middle. Both sides had tables, buffets and bars. The adult side had round tables with flower arrangements, while the kid section had long tables with large flowers sculptures made by my uncle with swimming noodles and umbrellas. The adult side’s buffet had salad, risotto, beef and fish. The kid’s side had a burger truck parked outside where they could get burgers and fries. Later there was a general dessert table. It was interesting that there was different food for the age groups. Either they could not figure out food that would please everyone, or wanted to keep the two sides distinctive. It was also interesting to see the macho men who went out to the burger truck instead of eating the adult food.

The DJ was playing mostly current pop music the teens would like. He also had games the teens and kids could play on the dance floor. I loved observing the dancing. The teens were great about getting out there, mostly in girl groups and boy groups, but some intermixing. Certain songs spurred great interaction, like Thriller and Love Shack.  Some songs got the adults to dance among the kids and teens too. It had a great energy.

The kids/teens seemed well rehearsed in how to behave at a party, most of them had been to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah almost every weekend that year. They were enjoying each other and having fun, while in the presence of their families. The whole party had a vibe of fun, confident and wholesome. I was struck by the simplicity of it all. Teens are at the age where they are aware of their growing interest in the opposite sex, in being independent of their parents for the first time. What better way to teach them how to interact with their peers in a social situation, than to attend a series of supervised parties where they can be guided? The Bat Mitzvah showed me a cultural tradition I felt I had missed out on, where  growing adolescence independence is guided, ensuring the teens behave with responsibility.

At Twelve:Portraits of Young Women

When I was 15, I took a photography class at my local Arts Council. There, I found a box with copies of Sally Mann’s At Twelve: Portraits of Young Women. I was drawn to the photographs instantly and took one home with me. This was my first experience with Sally Mann’s photography. She has been one of my favorite photographers ever since. Her black and white photographs are usually of her family and people in her hometown of Lexington, Virginia. I am attracted to her ability to show emotion through her images. Each image shows the soul of the subject.

Her collection At Twelve: Portraits of Young Women had a special connection for me as a teenage girl. I had never seen the subject of twelve-year old girls treated seriously by an artist before. As a budding young artist myself at the time, I was entranced. The images in the collection show a poetic, darker side to the almost-teenage girl. The mixture of childhood and womanhood is apparent in different ways in each photograph. Mann does not hide the reality of the twelve-year-old girls lives. Some are trying hard to be grown up, some have a child’s face in a young woman’s body, some nonchalantly exist in their world, and one has her own baby in her room of baby dolls. Each portrait shows a girl who is not afraid to look back at the viewer.

Ann Beattie writes in the introduction, "These girls still exist in an innocent world in which a pose is only a pose- what adults make of that pose may be the issue." Looking at these images, many of them make people feel uncomfortable. What gaze are we looking at these girls? Are we seeing them as children lost in an adult world? Do we see them as objects of beauty? Do we see them as being taken advantage of in their innocence? Our adult perceptions of the images Sally Mann shows us can quickly change their stories from gentle to violent. The way we look at these girls on the cusp of adolescence shows us how they will be looked at and treated in their lives. The photographs show them, naïve as they exist among their daily world, and we all know that innocence will soon be shattered.

At Twelve: Portraits of Women. Photographs by Sally Mann. Introduction by Ann Beattie. Aperture/New Images, New York, 1988. 

OMG BFF LOL

Charles White’s 2008 animated short films OMG BFF LOL investigate the American teen as image and idea. The title is in teen code created by texting abbreviations for oh my god, best friends forever and laugh out loud.  These abbreviations are actually verbally said now by teens as well. He uses the cliché stylization of valley girl teens; who say ‘like’ all the time and are focused on shopping, being pretty, and boys. The films show images of rich white teen girls, while together in public, and alone in their rooms.

The first animation, Mall, is the longest with three parts. It is the only part of OMG BFF LOL with dialogue. First the two teenage girls are in the mall and have a discussion about Having and Wanting. They discuss if the mall is heaven or hell. Tara, the more perfect and popular one, says, “The mall is heaven. It’s like a massive crystal palace of total happiness.” Her sidekick Blakey says, “At the mall is all the stuff you want, but like, can’t have right? That’s like totally being in hell right?" They can’t decide if it better to Have or to Want. They end up with Tara saying, “Life is about wanting to have and then getting and then having and then like, wanting more.” They go on to shop till they drop, and are relieved by a shared cookie and a smoothie. The girls’ interactions show they are only interested in shopping, hanging out together and having things they want to look cute. This is the cliché image that many young teens would watch and not think anything was strange or amiss about this film. Other teens may think the girls are stupid because of the way they talk.

The next part, Bedroom, shows Blakey alone in her room. She has a large room filled with expensive things. Her bed looks like a throne. She is channel surfing and then it bored and turns the TV off. She sits by her bed and eats chips. She looks in the mirror and sees herself as fat. She criticizes her face. She turns on the radio and stares at the posters of boys above her bed. She holds her teddy bear and stares at her phone, waiting. Bedroom shows an unseen image of a teen girl bored among all her things. She has nothing to do and goes from one ting to the next. The feeling is sad. She is without purpose. The last part, Bathroom, shows Tara crying in her bathroom. There is no explanation of why she is crying. You just watch her crying and slumping to the floor. Again, she is surrounded by wealth, yet not happy.

Charles White is making these films in the context of fine art. They have been exhibited in museums and galleries around the world, and been discussed in Art in America and Art Forum. Putting these cliché silly teen images in the fine art context, charges the images with art history and gender, sexuality and consumer politics. His uses the pop culture medium of cartoon, drawing the girls in the genre of Barbie or Bratz dolls. He is choosing to show and fight these stereotypes from within. I am curious why he is so interested in teen girl culture as a man. As a woman I connect personally with these films. I have been the girls shown, flitting around the mall, being bored in my room, crying when I am alone.

I watch these films and see a culture where young girls feel they must conform to the image of a pretty, silly girl who just wants to have fun. You want to be rich and popular because it’s better than being unpopular and lonely. Then you achieve popularity, and you are just as lonely as when you started, because you have changed yourself to fit an image. You are not being yourself, but you are scared to lose your status. It is all based in insecurity and fear.

My Teen Idols

I got my image of what being a teenager was like by watching Beverly Hills 90210. You live with your parents but your life is focused on a close group of friends. You go to school, and after school hang out with friends. You have crushes and boyfriends. You get in fights with your family, friends and boyfriends over important things you feel passionately about. You drive around town and find fun. You hang out at the local café where you are friends with the fatherly owner. You get your heart broken. You go through hard times. Your friends are always there for you. Your family is there with bowls of ice cream and heart to heart talks. You keep on, you grow, and you survive.

I used to watch Beverly Hills 90210 with my mom and sister every week. It was our way of watching teenagers and families deal with growing up. We never had lively deep discussions afterwards though. Watching a character get her heart broken and talking about our broken hearts was a different story. Somehow we could never use the many teen topics brought up on the show to speak of our own worries or experiences. Perhaps the show thoroughly discussed and hashed out how to deal with these tough situations so well we felt it was not necessary. Instead of my mom or older sister giving me advice from their experiences, we watched Brenda, Kelly, Donna, David, Brandon, Dylan and Steve go through their teens and twenties together. Now we can refer to ‘that time Dylan’s dad died and he became an alcoholic’ or ‘remember when Brenda’s best friend and her boyfriend fell in love and she said, “I hate you both! Never speak to me again!” when she found out.

In a media focused culture, characters in long running television shows become the story telling narrative that is passed down, retold through reruns for the next generation. Each character is a symbol, each episode a step, each season a journey, each series an epic tale. Watching Beverly Hills 90210 as I grew up, I grew up alongside the characters in the story. It may seem silly or pitiful to have a connection with a character, but it is how I felt and how I still feel. Virtual connections are a mirror to our human experiences. 

Teen Soap Opera

Beverly Hills 90210 was the first teen soap opera. It aired from 1990-2000. During that time, the show took the American teenage experience from a personal, somewhat hidden experience to cultural center stage. The premise of the show centers on a Minnesota family with boy and girl teenage twins who move to Beverly Hills. The show started in the genre of the after school movie. Each episode would show the teenage characters and their families dealing with serious issues and the end of the episode would resolve the problem. After the first season, the show became more focused on the characters close-knit friendships and romantic relationships, while still addressing serious issues. The actors and actresses became teen idols and had great influence over the teen culture of the time. The show influenced fashion, music, and most importantly, people’s values.

The show boldly addressed common teen issues such as divorce, sex, date rape, teenage pregnancy, abortion, eating disorders, alcohol and drugs, domestic violence, gay rights, AIDS, and death. Teen sexuality was frequently woven into the show, as it is in all teen’s lives. I still remember the first time I saw the episode when Kelly, the perfect popular blonde, tearfully reveals the story of her first very un-perfect sexual experience during a game of truth or dare. I remember when Donna tells her boyfriend David that she is a virgin and is not going to have sex until she is married, and I remember when Brenda decides she is ready to lose her virginity. While it was controversial that the show did not have all the girls be virgins, they did show different common choices and the pros and cons of each.

The shows dealing with the characters’ use of drugs and alcohol also affected me. Throughout the show’s run, almost every main character had a problem with drugs or alcohol. Dylan became an alcoholic after his Dad died, David became addicted to methamphetamines and lost his little sister while babysitting, Kelly’s loser boyfriend got her addicted to cocaine, and Donna’s prescription drug use caused her to be fired from her dream job. While the show did show some light alcohol and pot use without consequences, any heavy use of hard drugs resulted in horrible consequences.

Beverly Hills 90210 was a pioneering show that influenced a generation. The 1990’s were a time to break taboos and show human experiences for what they were, not what we idealize them to be. A way for me to watch fictional characters go through things I wanted to experience and things I never want to experience during high school, college and early twenties.

Teen Dream

I don’t remember turning thirteen. I am sure I was very aware that I was becoming a teenager, as being a teen is such a big deal in the United States. I lived before the age of the current day of the Tween, the idea that once you are 10, 11 and 12 you half-count as a teenager. I experienced going straight from child to teen.  It is one of those birthdays that mark a turning point, turning 5 (school aged), 10 (double-digits), 13 (teenager), 16 (drivers license), 18 (vote, R rated movies), 21 (alcohol), 25 (quarter of a century), 30 (oh my God I’m really an adult!), 40 (midlife?), 50 (my life is half over!), 60 (Am I old?), 70 (I think I might be old), 80 (I am definitely old!) and 90 (Wow, I am still alive) are all a Big Deal. The only thing I remember in hindsight is that I got my ears pierced because in my family we had to wait until we turned thirteen. Of course on all of the Big Deal birthdays, they feel even less exciting than a regular birthday because you do not feel different.

Turning 13 marks the day when you begin the process of leaving the nest. You look around and notice yourself, notice your family, notice the world in a newly critical way. As many changes are really happening, are changes happening because they are expected to happen. You are supposed to become more independent, different than your families norm, and start to hate or be embarrassed by your parents. Adults will half-jokingly say, “Now you’re a teenager…oh, no!” They want to cling to the child you still half are, yet encourage the adult you are becoming. Parents look at their baby and find it impossible to imagine it will become a teenager. How does a naked, helpless, happy baby who cries when you leave his or her side become a weirdly dressed, independent, sullen teenager who scowls when you are near? It seems the worst thing that could happen, the physical intimacy, the idealistic adoration, and the control-is gone.

When I was a child, I used to dream of becoming a teenager. I use to play make believe games that my cousin and I were teenagers, we would drive our cars (bikes) around the neighborhood and go hang out with our make believe boyfriends. We would talk about how our parents were driving us crazy and oh, let’s go to the mall. Growing up is all about understanding and taking control of the adult world, little by little. Once I was a teenager I felt free from childhood, but I also felt trapped. The world of Teen I wanted so badly didn’t happen until I was 15 or 16 and my friends and I could drive. In the meantime, everything had endless possibilities, but I couldn’t reach them. I would hang out in my room listening to my CD’s and look at Seventeen and Vogue and dream of the day I could be a real Teenager. 

Photo credit: Sally Mann, At Twelve Series (Juliet in the Chair) 1988